THIS IS MY STORY

IT ALL STARTED BACK IN FEBUARY 2003, WE JUST LOST WES' MOTHER TO LIVER FAILURE AND WE THOUGHT IT WAS THE WORST DAY OF OUR LIVES. THEN A COUPLE OF WEEKS LATER WE FOUND OUT WE WERE GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY. WELL WHILE MOST PEOPLE WOULD NOT WANT ANOTHER CHILD WHEN THEY ALREADY HAVE A 7 MONTH OLD BUT WE DID NOT CARE IT WAS SOMETHING TO FILL THAT EMPTY SPACE OF LOSING OUR MOTHER. MY WHOLE PREGANCY WAS FAST AND EASY. AROUND THE END OF OCTOBER YOU WANTED OUT OF THERE SO BAD . YOU COULD NOT WAIT TILL NOVEMBER SO YOU CAME ON OCTOBER 25 2003,FIVE  DAYS AFTER WES' MOMS BIRTHDAY. THREE WEEKS AHEAD OF SCHEDULE BUT YOU WERE ALREADY AT 6LBS 9OZS AND 20 INS LONG.WHAT A BIG BOY

HERE IS THE REST OF MY STORY
THE NEXT SIX MONTHS FLEW BUY  YOU WERE GETTING SO BIG. I TOOK YOU TO THE DOCTORS FOR YOU SIX MONTH CHECKUP AND YOU WERE 17 LBS AND HEALTHY SO I THOUGHT. THEN THAT NIGHT CAME. IT WAS MAY 1ST AND EVERYONE WAS OVER. YOU AND YOUR COUSIN HANNAH WERE RACING ON THE FLOOR.WHEN EVERYONE YOU WENT TO BED AT YOUR NORMAL TIME. IT WAS ABOUT 12:30 WHEN SHARON CAME AND BROUGHT YOU UPSTAIRS TO ME AND SAID YOU WERE JUST NOT WANTING TO GO SLEEP SO YOU STAYED UP WITH ME A LITTLE LONGER. IT WAS ABOUT 1:30 WHEN FINALLY LAID YOU BACK DOWN  IN YOUR CRIB. I TURNED OFF THE FAN AND CRACKED THE WINDOW YOU HAD A LITTLE  RUNNY NOSE. I TUCKED YOUR COVERS AT YOUR FEET.I TRIED GIVING YOU YOUR BOTTLE BUT YOU DID NOT WANT NO PART OF IT SO I TRIED JUICE AND YOU DID NOT WANT THAT EITHER SO I GAVE YOU A KISS AND TOLD YOU GOODNIGHT. I CHECKED THE BABY MONITOR BECAUSE I HAD A WEIRD FEELING THAT NIGHT. THEN I WENT TO BED.  WAKING UP THE NEXT MORNING AT 6:30 YOU WERE THE FIRST THING THAT I THOUGHT ABOUT THAT MORNING SO I WENT DOWN STAIRS TO GET YOU BUT YOUR BROTHERS WERE ALREADY AWAKE SO I TOOK THEM UPSAIRS TO CLIMB IN BED WITH DADDY. THEN I WENT BACK DOWN STAIRS TO GET YOU. I OPENED UP YOUR DOOR AND I DID NOT SEE YOUR SMILING LITTLE FACE PEEKING OVER THE CRIB RAIL.THEN I SAW YOUR FOOT IT HAD A BLUISH COLOR TO IT AND THEN I KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG. I RUSHED OVER TO YOU PICKED YOU UP, I NOTICED THAT YOU WERE NOT BREATHING, BUT YOU WERE WARM . I SCREAMED FOR WES AND HE CAME RUNNING . HE GRABBED YOU FROM ME AND STARTED CPR. SHARON CALLED 911 AND ALL I COULD DO WAS PACE AROUND HITTING THINGS SAYING WHY WHY WHY .WHY MY LITTLE NU-NU. WHEN THE AMBULANCE CAME IT SEEMED LIKE FOREVER. THEY RUSHED YOU IN THE BACK AND STARTED HOOKING YOU UP TO TUBES AND IVS. THEY WOULD NOT LET ME IN THERE WITH YOU SO POUND ON THE DOOR TRING TO BREAK IT DOWN. WE FOLLOWED THE AMBULANCE THE WHOLE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL. THEY PUT US IN A ROOM AND WE WAITED AND WAITED THEN FINALLY A DOCTOR CAME OUT AND TOLD US THEY DID EVEYTHING THEY COULD AND THEY COULD NOT BRING HIM BACK.THEY SAID IT LOOKS LIKE HE MIGHT OF PASSED AWAY FROM SIDS AND SIDS BABIES CAN NOT BE REVIVED. THEN THEY ASKED IF I WANTED TO HOLD YOU FOR ONE LAST TIME. ONE LAST TIME, ONE LAST TIME, THOSE WORDS KEPT GOING OVER AND OVER IN MY MINE. HOW COULD YOU HOLD YOUR BABY ONE LAST TIME I ONLY HAD HIM FOR 6 MONTHS? ONE LAST TIME ! SO I DID I GOT TO HOLD HIM ONE LAST TIME I TOLD HIM I AM SOORY MOMMY WAS NOT THERE FOR HIM AND I LOVE HIM. I KISSED HIM ALL OVER AND TOLD HIM GOODNIGHT FOREVER ONE LAST TIME. THEN IT WAS DADDYS TURN TO HOLD YOU ONE LAST TIME AND HE DID HE GAVE YOU KISSES TOO THEN WE LEFT.WHEN WE WERE OUTSIDE YOUR NANA AND GRANDAD PULLS UP. MOM RUSHES OVER TO ME AND HUGS ME THEN SHE ASKED ME IF YOU WERE OKAY I TOLD HER NO HIS GONE. SHE STARTED CRING AND SAID NO NOT MY LITTLE MANSY. THEN SHE RAN INSIDE TO HOLD YOU ONE LAST TIME. WHEN WE FINALLY LEFT I LOOKED BACK TO CHECK ON YOU, I SAW NOTHING YOU WERE NOT THERE. THAT IS WHEN I STARTED TO CRY AND I HAVE NOT STOPPED YET. I MISS YOU NU-NU.A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER A WOMAN CALLED AND ASKED ME IF I WOULD DONATE YOUR HEART VALVE STEMS I SAID YES. QUILLIN IT HAS BEEN A HARD AND LONG 7 MONTHS WITHOUT YOU. EVERYDAY THAT I WAKE UP AND I DO NOT SEE YOUR SMILING FAT CHEEKS  I WOULD LIKE TO CRAWL BACK IN MY BED AND DREAM OF YOU. MY LITTLE MAN I CANT WAIT FOR THE DAY WHEN I SEE YOU AGAIN I PROMISE I WILL NEVER LET GO. I LOVE YOU NU- NU.

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